Dark Hole
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.
~Carl Rogers
Some never make the connection between seeing oneself as going down into a dark hole and tearing adrift all the layers of who and what I currently am and then realizing a huge moment of truth admitting and accepting it.
Then and only then can I begin to change. The dark hole is a metaphor let it not trouble or discourage you. Welcome it, the door to freedom.